


When Skies Are Gray

by inkedinserendipity



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Canon Divergence, M/M, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-21 03:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14275596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkedinserendipity/pseuds/inkedinserendipity
Summary: Part of your soul belongs to your soulmate. Losing that part of them means that you cannot remember them; each memory you form of them will disappear when you look away.Taako, of course, has no soulmate.





	1. you'll never know, dear

**Author's Note:**

> Figured it was time to cross-post this! Two chapters, no happy ending (except the ones other people have written tbh). Enjoy!

“Skull again,” Edward tuts, all faux-sympathy and wide eyes. If Taako weren’t so busy trying to keep his organs inside of his chest, he’d consider pulling a Magnus and socking him right in his dumb, stupid face. He just wants to be  _out_  of here, dammit. He’d take the fuckin’ fantasy Costco over this place. “What bad luck.”

“Especially since you can’t take another hit like the first one, now can you, darling?” Lydia simpers. “But we’re not done with you quite yet.”

“Of course not,” Edward says, and suddenly they are very,  _very_ close. Taako’s face, torn ears and broken nose, grimaces back at him from the inky black of their sunglasses. “So I think we’ll make it something a little more immediate, hmm? To ensure you can keep playing your game without killing you quite yet!”

“We’d never take your prize from you so cheaply. Not when you’ve done so well this far!”

There’s a hand on his shoulder, squeezing tight. “Skull’s a bad look all around,” Magnus mutters. “I don’t like this.”

Taako glances back at Magnus, grey-haired and withered, a hole burned irreparably in his memory, and snorts. “Get in fuckin’ line, bubbeleh.” He shakes off the hand, straightens. “What did you fuckers have in mind?”

Edward and Lydia exchange a glance, sharp-toothed and pleased. He’s dizzy still from the refrigerator they dropped on him and when he loses focus, their lipstick stains their lips like blood. “This sacrifice has broken people before,” says Edward, “but somehow I doubt it’ll be much for you, Taako.”

“We don’t take you for the fanciful type.” Lydia snaps her fingers, and from the groggy black ceiling lowers a cylinder.  Behind it trails a long tube, whose ends branch out into the writhing mass of smog. “I wonder if this will even hurt you at all!”

Taako swallows hard, covering wariness as best he can. He’s a performer at heart but right now it feels like his ribcage is being torn and half, and his head is pounding painfully enough he can almost hear it in his ears.

“Taako, do you believe in true love?”

Taako stares. 

He thinks, briefly, of Magnus and his wife, screaming his wife’s name in his sleep. He thinks of Hurley and Sloane, wound around each other and dead.

He hopes Fate would not be so cruel to him.

“Fuck no.”

“Then perhaps this will be too easy on him,” Edward says, disappointed.

“Let’s give it a whirl anyway. They’ve done so well this far.” Lydia grins. “We can’t tell if you have one, Taako — no one can without seeing your soul, after all — but if you accept this sacrifice, and  _if_ you have a soulmate, you’ll simply…not remember them.”

“You’ll be able to see them, of course. You’ll still be able to interact with them, speak with them, even touch them. But the moment they’re out of your sight, they’ll…” Edward shrugs expressively. “Poof. You’ll forget you’d ever seen them before. Each time you meet them, they’ll be a perfect stranger.”

“You’ll remember them while looking at them. The eyes are the window to the soul, as they say — in this case, a window to the soul that we’ve…removed.”

“But once you look away…” another shrug. “That’ll be it, we’re afraid!”

“Don’t,” Magnus whispers, hand tightening on his shoulder, because there are otters carved into his soul and even blackened and charred as that bit of him is, he knew that love. He knew that love and cherishes it still. “Taako, don’t do it. Spin again.”

Taako arches an eyebrow at him. “You kiddin’ me, Mags? Me, a  _soulmate_?”

“You don’t  _know_ —  _”_  

“I can make a pretty educated guess. That shit’s a load of crap, anyway,” he spits, grin hardening into something fouler. “Think about it. Taako just don’t love like that. I’m not giving up anything at all!”

Taako straightens. “Don’t do it, kid,” Merle says at his side. “Future’s limitless. You never know what might happen.”

“We’ll take the spins. Taako,  _don’t_. Something like this isn’t worth giving up.”

He does think of Kravitz.

Kravitz is dead. If he’d had a soulmate, his soulmate is long gone.

Besides, Taako believed in love, once. It left him with forty dead and his life’s goal ruined.

He shakes off the hand on his shoulder, the grip on his waist, and lifts his chin. He says, “I accept.”

“Taako — ” 

Taako doesn’t remember reeling backward. He doesn’t remember collapsing against Magnus, retching as something — something white and glistening — rips from his chest.

The light coalesces into a feather that flutters weakly in the air, pulsing dimly in the delighted gazes of the liches. It drifts back toward Taako, but the tube animates and sucks it the other direction. Up and up it flies, and finds itself confronted with a mass of glimmering white lights, twisted and dripping and fused together. 

Then black smoke tears it apart, thread-by-thread, and slots it into the groaning mass of broken souls.

* * *

A hand claws out from choppy waters and for a moment Taako can’t breathe.

He yanks Magnus away from the Astral Plane, eyes scrunched closed with effort, and forgets.

* * *

As Taako tears a portal to the Celestial Plane, he’s thinking of Merle. He hopes that, wherever the old man is, he can at least have this happy reunion with his god.

The Judge towers over them as light races through the skies again, the grass blooming greener and sky brightening blue. Taako has already drawn his wand, heart thudding in his chest, when a hand falls on his shoulder.

Istus stands at his side, her countenance drained, surrounded by thousands of multicolored scarves. Her needles hang limp in her hands, and in the tapestry a single purple thread has come undone, sending the rest into disarray.

“Istus,” Taako says, surprised. “You comin’ to beat the shit outta that thing?”

Istus’s smile is faint. “No,” she says, “that is not my destiny.”

From behind her there is a faint tear, and from this tear flock a thousand ravens.

“Hachi  _machi_ ,” Taako has time to say, before the full weight of a goddess rams into the Judge. There is something raw and horrifying in this display; the goddess of balance shows no mercy as the Hunger is obliterated, shredded between a thousand furious beaks. In all, the battle — if it could even be called as such —  lasts less than three seconds.

“Taako,” Istus whispers, pallor faint and grayed. “Taako, something has gone wrong.”

“Yeah, I see that.”

“No. It’s — you’ve forgotten someone very important.”

“Yeah, no fuckin’ kidding, I forgot like six very important someones,” Taako scoffs.

“Taako, listen. We cannot fix this, his thread has already come undone —  ”

Lup yelps. Taako holds up a single finger, already turning away from his goddess. “Lemme put this convo on hold, yeah?” he says, and without waiting for a reply, barrels into the Hunger attacking his sister.

Beneath their feet dances the bloodred light of a perfect circle of ruby.

* * *

He can’t hold Lup’s hand, not like this, but he rests his palm over hers on the cleaved table they’ve reappropriated as a temporary bunk and basks in her warmth. On her other side Barry leans his head into Lup’s shoulder in the best imitation of physical closeness he can get. 

They’ll figure something out about her body eventually, but for right now Taako wants nothing more than to savor this moment.

Merle and Davenport sit several careful feet apart, their captain perched uncomfortably on the broken table, and Taako quirks a smile. That distance won’t last for long. On Merle’s other side sits Magnus, Angus perched on his shoulder, arguing heatedly with Avi about the most loyal breed of dog, a debate that Magnus is winning only because he knows so many, back from their year on the puppy planet. 

There’s a faint rip, and Taako turns to see a handsome man in a neatly-pressed suit.

He sees Taako and his face splits into a wide grin. There are tears welling in his eyes and he grabs Taako’s hand and says, all in a rush, “I’m so glad you’re okay, I was so worried, I couldn’t stop — are you okay? I heard everything, I heard your Story — ”

Taako pulls his hand away. “Sounds great, bubbeleh,” he says, “but it looks like you missed the memo, huh, homie. This is a family reunion, if you don’t mind.”

“What?”

“Scoot along, my man,” Taako drawls. It hurts to look at him for too long, so he looks away. “I get it, adoring fan and all, but this just ain’t the time.”

The man draws himself up, stung. “Taako, this isn’t funny.”

“And I’m not joking.”

Two sculpted brows furrow. “Is — is everything okay?”

“Peachy fuckin’ keen, my man, except cha’boy’s tryna enjoy a nice reunion with his sister and you’re ruining it.”

There’s silence, for a beat. He scrutinizes Taako’s face carefully then asks, almost quiet, “Taako, do you know who I am?”

Taako shrugs. His chest twinges. “No clue.”

For some reason the other man’s expression crumples and Taako watches him, one brow arching. He opens his mouth but Lup says “babe, stop talking for a second.”

“You know this guy?”

“Not really,” she says, and stands.

The man jumps, then his red eyes fix on his sister. “Lup.”

“Kravitz.”

He takes a deep breath, glancing at Taako like he can’t help himself, and says, “it’s an honor to meet you.” 

“You too, bone boy. Didn’t make a great first impression on me, but the follow-up was solid, at least.”

“I…” he closes his eyes, too long for a blink. “I tried my best.”

“I know. You did good.” She studies him carefully, then quirks him a half-smile. “Sorry for trying to kill you.”

Though it clearly costs him, he huffs a chuckle. “It’s already forgotten.” A scythe materializes in his hand and he says, “I’ll negotiate for you as best I can, but I will need to take you to speak with my Queen — ”

A wand at his throat cuts him off.

“Don’t think so,” Taako drawls. “You might wanna put that down, huh?”

Slowly, he lowers his scythe, something in his expression twisting. Sucks to be him; Taako doesn’t give a shit. He threatened Lup.

“Attaboy,” Taako says, and pats him lightly on the cheek. “You threaten her again and you’re ash, got it?”

“I wasn’t — okay,” he says. There are little skulls on his tie. That’s cute. He dissipates his scythe and holds up his hands in a gesture of surrender and Taako hums approvingly.

“Much better.” He lowers his wand, and the other man swallows hard. “Now hop along, then — ”

A heavy hand on his shoulder cuts him off. “Break time,” Magnus says. “Merle, could you….”

“Got it.”

Before Taako can so much as turn, Magnus is dragging him across the field. “Hey — jeezy creezy, Mags,” Taako gripes, trying to jerk out of his grip and failing. “The fuck’s gotten into you?”

They stop a good distance from everyone else, and when Taako glances back he finds his family congregated around this strange man. Little Angus offers him a handkerchief, concern painted clear across his face. 

“Taako,” Magnus snaps. Two fingers under his chin drag his attention to Magnus’s face. “Look, this is — this is important, okay? I need you to listen.”

“Yeah,” Taako says, “okay, yeah, you sure did get my attention, my guy. Dragged me across half the fuckin’ field and everything.”

“In Wonderland,” Magnus says, then breaks off, shaking his head. “Fuck, we were hoping — gods damn it. Do you remember that sacrifice you don’t remember?”

Taako stares at him, unimpressed.

“Duh, okay. Taako, you took a sacrifice in Wonderland. It — the liches, they took something from you. You know about soulmates, right?”

“I’m familiar,” Taako shrugs. “Why?”

“They took that,” Magnus says. “Taako, they took that from you. That man — Kravitz — he was your soulmate, but they took him from you. Now you can’t — you went on dates with him before Wonderland, Taako, and I think…I think you fell in love with him, but you can’t remember.”

Taako stares at him, and there’s a niggling feeling in the back of his mind that he can’t quite place. His chest  _aches_ , burns, but he doesn’t look away. “You’ll remember the longer you look at him, but once you look away, you’ll forget.”

He remembers slowly, like the dawning sun, light creeping over memories he hadn’t even realized he’d forgotten. He remembers their first date at the Chugg ‘n Squeeze. He remembers a picnic in the fields of Neverwinter, the opera they’d gone to see together, when Taako watched Kravitz conduct, eyes shut, and felt the first stirrings of  _something_  he’d been too afraid to put a name to.

He remembers waking up feeling held and loved. He remembers a quirked, teasing smile, two bright red eyes watching him fondly as he baked, wearing a ridiculous hot-pink apron and wiggling his eyebrows with the innuendos in the radio’s music. He remembers lips brushing against the back of his hand as he was escorted off the moonbase, tucking his head into the crook of that shoulder, falling asleep in the hollow of his neck, and Taako is  _furious._

“I am so  _fucking tired_ ,” Taako spits, heart burning, “of people being taken from me.”

As he watches, Kravitz looks at him, and a smile crosses his face, like he can’t  _fucking_  help himself, before his jaw locks and his face falls and he looks away.

“I’m so sorry, Taako. I don’t think you thought you had a soulmate.”

“Of course not. I didn’t have my heart.”

He’s beautiful. The rising sun catches his hair and paints it red, red to match his eyes, and Taako is so fucking  _tired_.

“This is it, huh?” he spits. “This is our happy ending?” He’s afraid to blink. His eyes are watering but he refuses to close them. “ _This_  is what we earned, at the end of all… _this_.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know,” he snaps. “You know what, Magnus? I am too.”

Faintly Taako hears a watery laugh, Kravitz chuckling at something Lup says, and Taako can almost hear it, hear all the times Kravitz had laughed at his shitty jokes even though they weren’t funny at all. Remembers the way his heart soared, at hearing that laugh, at finding someone who looked at him like he hung the moon and expected nothing in return but his light.

Taako lifts his chin. “Tell him I love him.”

Magnus flinches. “Gods, Taako…”

“Don’t lose it on me now, Burnsides. I’d fuckin’ stare you down but that’s outta the question right now, bubbeleh.”

“I can go get him — ”

“I gotta blink sometime, my dude.” Taako keeps staring, and it’s not hard, because it’s Kravitz. “Please.”

“I promise.”

“Good. Tell him I love him, and I’m sorry I couldn’t say it in person. Tell him…that I love his laugh, and his singing, and that he made me feel at home. And that even if I don’t know him, I…I still love him. I still would.” He takes a deep breath. “I would’ve taken forever, if he’d have given it.” 

“Taako….”

Even though they’re stinging, Taako does not close his eyes. “Promise me, Magnus.”

“Of course,” Magnus whispers, voice breaking.

“Good.”

Taako drinks it in — the hilltop at sunrise, his family painted orange and yellow, his love standing among them, looking at ease and at home. He watches crimson eyes soften with grief, with sympathy, with kindness, and commits the picture to memory as best he can. 

And he looks away.


	2. when i awoke, dear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An epilogue.

Twenty years have passed since Story and Song, and the world around Kravitz celebrates.

Kravitz does not join them.

Before Taako, before the Seven Birds, he had little use for hope; what would be would be, because though subtle, Fate had her hands in all things, her needles clacking out the rhythm of the whole world. He watched civilizations rise and fall, over and over in the same ceaseless cycle, and after that he stopped much caring.

Twenty years ago they crossed the finish line, the whole world at once in one final, exultant battle. Kravitz swept up the dead with an energy he found himself surprised by; it had been a long time — perhaps never — since there was someone to whom he looked forward to returning.

He stepped through a portal, ready for a joyous reunion, only to find that Taako did not know his name.

He asks after Taako these days, of course. Every two weeks like clockwork.

He bartered for the souls of Lup and Barry and accepted them under his tutelage. Under his wing, as he might have joked, if the sight of Lup’s face didn’t make him sick.

He doesn’t visit. Seeing him reminds Taako of the part of himself that was torn out; a physical ache. Forgotten though he is, Kravitz will not let himself hurt Taako. Not anymore.

Taako builds a new life and a brand without him. He has a school now, Lup and Barry tell him, with Ren as his second-in-command. After so long, he’s finally happy in the home he’s made for himself. 

Kravitz is glad for him.

Lup and Barry took the day off from work to spend with their family. As always, they extend the offer to Kravitz, to at least see Taako’s face again before Kravitz forgets. As always, he declines. 

He finishes the day’s work in a record time. The first few years, these anniversaries saw an upswing in necromantic activity — two of the Seven Birds are liches, after all — but after Lup and Barry made their stance known, it’s tapered off. Becoming a lich is now seen as an affront to the sacrifice those two made to protect their family.

It takes him little more than two hours to finish his reapings. He concludes in a cold alley in Neverwinter. Although it’s spring it’s pouring here, and Kravitz is glad that, dead as he is, he cannot feel the rain.

Kravitz takes out his soul, alone in this darkened place, and looks at it.

Not once in four hundred years has his soul changed; it is still a ball of white light ringed by a sleeping mongoose. When he first died he’d been eager to find this person, this soulmate whose connection to mongooses was so strong as to show up on Kravitz’s soul. Now Kravitz wishes he hadn’t met him at all.

It’s a hell worse than the one Kravitz guards, he thinks, to have found that love and to have lost it.

At least Magnus will be reunited with his wife when he dies. But this — that part of Taako’s soul was torn from him, and Kravitz cannot get it back. No one can. 

It would be easy, he thinks —

One part of his job is the handling of souls. Cleaving them, separating them from their bodies. Without thinking, Kravitz manifests his scythe, and that tip — that tip that glints silver beneath the shrouded light of the moon — has rent so many souls apart. What is one more?

Kravitz studies it, in this moment with as dispassionate an eye as the one that watched civilizations rise and fall. It would be easier. It would be so much easier to forget.

Around him the rain patters a staccato rhythm in this narrow alleyway of Neverwinter. Kravitz can feel water trickling down his face, threading through his hair, but still he does not move. Around his soul, the mongoose sleeps.

He doesn’t know how long he stands there, watching. For what, he doesn’t know. A sign, maybe; a signal that this will all be  _worth_ it, that all this endless waiting will have some payoff in the end.

Impossible. What Taako lost he cannot get back. He’s found peace without Kravitz.

Kravitz has to do the same.

He lifts his scythe smoothly, digs the tip around the mongoose’s stomach, and pries it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> inkedinserendipity on tumblr, shout @ me there

**Author's Note:**

> Catch me on tumblr @inkedinserendipity for many, many more TAZ fics

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [compass points you anywhere (closer to me)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16910463) by [Puffls](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Puffls/pseuds/Puffls)




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